I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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