I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
