Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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