if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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