I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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