My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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