yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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