Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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