I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
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I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
