I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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