you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
