She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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