Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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