My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
tell me about the eggs
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
