i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize