So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
