At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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