shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
