Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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