i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
