so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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