If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
