yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
