I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
