u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
