you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Who died my cat blue again?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
