Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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