Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
