We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
