Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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