My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
