He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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