Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
