Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
