My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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