hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
