Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
