Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize