it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He passed out mid-signature
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I want to fling myself into the sun
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
