You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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