i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
