you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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