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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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