Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
