this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
