Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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