this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
