and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
