Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
