Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize