sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
