If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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