1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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