remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Too much gin, very little bucket
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
