Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
