Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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