I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
3pm strippers are depressing
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Im part way to drunk.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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