butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
