My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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