then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
