Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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