i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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