everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we're making bets on your personal life
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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