before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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