So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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