Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
