my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize