I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
