I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize