I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
