is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize