I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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