I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
